Most business schools host an etiquette dinner to teach students about mannerism and conduct.  You learn things like using your utensils “outside in” and shaking with your right hand while making eye contact (and catching an à la suave glance at their name tag).  Most students avoid this event under the impression that etiquette should be common sense, and I’m guilty of making such a false assumption.  Eventually, I attended an etiquette dinner at a networking event and learned a thing or two, realizing and deeply regretting the simple mistakes that could have been avoided.  Now, I stand strong behind my embarrassing and educational experience.  You gotta learn somehow, right?

The virtual world is a bit different.  You don’t have to face people in person, nor do you have to worry about body language.  But etiquette is a universal language that stretches into our online interactions.  With the rise of social networks, you have to be extra cognizant of your connections and how you converse with them.  To avoid looking like a fool, learn etiquette and let it take your online presence to a higher level.

Twitter Responses

If you’ve read my initial posts on Twitter in January and September of 2009, you know where I stand with this topic.

When it comes to responding to people on Twitter, there are three key things:

• Send a direct message to thank the people who follow you.  This helps make a straight connection with your audience.  This shouldn’t be too troublesome if you have a few hundred followers, but if you have significant following (1000+ followers), you can opt for an automatic DM using tools like Socialoomph.
• Recognize and appreciate those who retweet (RT) or feature you on follow friday (#FF).  I do admit that you can’t thank every single person here, but use your judgment as needed.
• If someone tweets you publicly (using @YourTwitterHandleHere), try your best to respond.  For big wigs with 10,000+ followers, I can understand not responding to each and every retweet, but for the rest of us, we can and should carve 10 seconds of our day to connect to a follower.

The cardinal rule of influence is:  To be a great leader, one must also know how to follow.

Facebook Stalking

You’re a big fat liar if you publicly declare that you don’t stalk people on Facebook.  But this doesn’t mean you’re entitled to befriend everyone and their mom either.  Facebook is meant for people to connect, keep in touch and/or get to know each other (upon acceptance of virtual friendship).

Another thing about Facebook – it is a social networking site, which means people are there to socialize. If I can’t write on your wall and interact, why add me at all?  If I can’t compliment how fabulous you look in your picture, why are we even friends?

Privacy settings are there to protect you from creepers, not so you can set up a fake connection with someone.  I can understand hiding pictures from your crazy bachelorette party, but connecting for the sake of connecting defeats the purpose of Facebook, IMHO.

I’m not campaigning that everyone should become BFF’s on Facebook, but let’s get a little personal here.  If you want to network, kindly connect on LinkedIn.  I won’t take it personally.

Connecting on LinkedIn

LinkedIn is the underdog Facebook wished never existed.  Facebook is where you can brag about the awesome concert you attended or share news of your new baby with family, friends, and colleagues you know and have met.  Not to say my rationale is the right way – there are people who can successfully manage both their personal and professional networks on Facebook.  I’m just not one of them.

LinkedIn is where you keep professional contacts updated with your professional life.  It helps you re-connect with old and new colleagues to share expertise, collaborate, or seek help when finding a new job.  Not to mention, it’s a living document of your resume integrated with endorsements from the people you have worked with.  Say goodbye to the days of searching for an old resume and relying on your memory to update it.

If you don’t have an account, start one today.  Never underestimate the power of LinkedIn.

Blog Post Interactions

Your readers are your bread and butter.  Whether or not you monetize your blog, you are publishing content so that someone will read them, right?  If this isn’t the case, remind me to send you a Moleskine.

When people comment on your blog posts, respond to them.  Interact with your audience.  Welcome constructive feedback because they will likely improve your content.  Take everything with a grain of salt and give people the benefit of doubt.

Be Inclusive.

If you’re a social media superstar, likely someone else is too.  This is the internet we are talking about, the land of free content (for now) with an infinite amount of colleagues you don’t have visibility into.  Share the love and avoid looking like you have a stick up your ass.  We’re not in high school and social media isn’t an exclusive club.  Cut the arrogance.  Just because people can’t see your body and facial expression doesn’t mean you are immortal and sheltered from backlash later (haven’t you people learned anything from Jersey Shore?).  Pretentious attitude slices your opportunity thicker (and deeper) than burning bridges.  Get off the high horse.  Share content.  Be a team player.  Make connections. That’s what social media is all about.

Thanks to @HughL for being my soundboard and support.  If this post keeps you in doubt, here’s some entertainment from last week’s Jersey Shore.  Don’t be an Angelina :)